Wisteria
And because you were inhibited
Your growth became a novelty
And your seeds became a poison
And yet, with time comes sprouting
And when you blossomed
Nobody dared to look away
To see such a sight
Of purples and blues
Of a bud once sturdy
Now delicately petaled
But weeds find their way
As death is skilled like that
Not to kill, but to suffocate
And yet, you bloomed
Deadheading the toxins
Rising to grandeur
A fantasy of a curtained floral ridden land
A smell of heady sweetness
And still
After months of stretching
And years of gradual growth
You remain wilting
This is so beautiful and almost magical in a way because you talk about "growth" "grandeur" and "novelty" which are big concepts but you still made it tangible which is what's so great. The comparison is also very on point and consistent throughout the poem and you taught me something new I didn't know before (had no idea what a wisteria was.) I thought the ending was going to be some glorious finale since the poem felt like it was leading me to some high peak but this is the reality of this kind of flower, it's always wilting. I guess maybe there is a way to make it sound more optimistic at the end or level out the tone/feeling of the poem throughout? Like maybe, "you remain wilting yet always flowering", this is just an idea.
ReplyDeleteThank you! Honestly I don't know much about flowers but the Wisteria is so fascinating to me and always resonated with me. I chose to end it the way I did because of that resonance; the fact that it's such a beautiful flower formed by years and years of growth and yet it still wilts...that build up is something I've found in my personal life (sad, but still) so that's why I want to leave the ending a bit dead in a way
DeleteSo so beautiful. I read it out loud and it was just that much better and more meaningful. I really feel the plight of the wilting wisteria and I love how you personified the plant and made it applicable to a cache of interpretations. My one comment is in the beginning:
ReplyDeleteAnd because you were inhibited
Your growth became a novelty
And your seeds became a poison
It starts out sounding positive like the plant rose above expectations, but then the addition of the poison seems kind of sudden and out of character.
I believe the references in the opening are a technical description of the wisteria.
DeleteHi Rachel. This new poems is a lovely contribution to your poetry portfolio, and it further shows your strength with description. What I love most about this poem is how subtle it is in suggesting but also resisting metaphor. You can easily read the poem as purely descriptive of wisteria, but you can also read it as indicative of personal growth and stagnation, cycles of creation and destruction in life and in the individual. That's a fabulous way to handle metaphor--letting the reader in but not too much, trusting the reader. I
ReplyDeleteI love your use of technical descriptions of the flower, like deadheading, and how perfectly you use that word. There isn't much here I would change, but I do think this line sounds awfully clunky compared to the rest: "Precise as a systemic girdling" To me that line is TOO technical, and it sounds like something out of a botany book, unlike the rest which sounds like a lyrical poem.
I want to recommend that you check out Louise Gluck's poetry, especially "The Wild Iris." She would make an excellent reading choice for you, I believe.
I've decided to workshop this in class tomorrow. I think it will make for a great discussion. Hope that's OK!
ReplyDeleteI really like how this poem begins with "And". I think it gives a good running start, as if we've come into the speaker's thoughts as they're occurring. The progression of growth is interesting, and I actually really like how the end does not come with a silver lining. Not everything in life does, and I think this poem shows that well.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a beautiful nature piece that hides underneath a loth of insight on wiltering humanity,
ReplyDelete