Childhood Memories
I wish I had a childhood memory.
You see, the brain does something funny
when it thinks you need protection.
It hides the life that you’ve lived,
and though some memories slip out,
they always seem to be coated in frost.
So maybe I remember the moment
when the snow was taller than me,
and I had to dig a tunnel
to get to my neighbor’s house.
The same neighbor that sparked my heart
The same neighbor that had
hazel eyes and matted black hair.
But that’s all I can see:
Five feet of snow and sparkling eyes.
And maybe I remember
The time when the house
was thick with screams
and the floors vibrated from stomping and chasing,
and I could not feel a goddamn thing.
But that’s all, isn’t it?
Only yelling and the feeling of nothing.
I wish I had a childhood memory
that was embedded with clarity
and sewn with jewels,
but as I reach for them,
as I grasp them in the palms of my hands,
they slip through my fingers
like desert sand
and disappear into nothing
but distant rubble
and faded dreams.
This is a beautiful, powerful poem. You use descriptive language in a non-cliche way that really helps drive your point home: that the lack of childhood memory is a memory in and of itself for what it represents in your life.
ReplyDeleteMaybe just one question of clarity regarding the following line: "sewn with jewels in their purest form." Is this saying that childhood memories should be bright, shiny, and pure like jewels, but for you they are not?
-Talya Hyman
What I meant it that I wish my memories were clear and not "coated in frost." I don't think childhood memories are usually clear for most people but I'm saying that I wish they were...does that make sense?
DeleteI love the stanza with the snow! So cute! It is just a bit too long for my taste...I woulfd love to hear about the times you try to remember and cannot!
ReplyDeleteThe message of this poem was so clearly expressed. The "sewn with jewels" phrase is very nice. Was "matted hair" the best phrase? To me, that doesn't bring up the best image, but since you associate this with someone you found attractive, and it's your memory, I'm not saying it's necessarily a bad thing. A very good poem, overall, in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteI plan to talk about this poem in class or in a meeting with you soon. It has some truly excellent moments as well as the lines that strike me as employing more tired and overused language. The best parts are the descriptive ones: the snow tunnel, the pounding floors... the parts that strike me as in need of work are when you lean hard on abstractions to do the work of poetry: for example, "numbness of your soul" is not my favorite line. I've read that expression many times, and the feeling is already coming through. But this is a substantial and mainly effective poem, and I look forward to talking about it.
ReplyDelete